Where are you?

But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?"

Genesis 3.9

God didn't need to know where man was, he already knew. It was man who needed to be made aware. It was man who needed to realise that he was in fact hiding from God. That he had chosen to disobey him and was now trying to escape the consequences. We need to constantly ask ourselves the same question, "where are you?"

When it comes to standing before God, where am I?

Am I hiding from him? From the consequences of my sin, from the responsibilities i'm given, from the times I wish to forget?

God gives us the chance to confess. The chance to see our state before him and than the chance to accept his forgiveness and make things right.

It is a question that bleeds love from every pore. A question that plumbs the very depths of mans being and demands an honest answer. And yet we needn't fear the answer. Yes we might know shame and guilt, but through his sacrifice we need not know fear. If our answer is "I'm hiding" his response invites us into the open. If our answer is "I'm running away" his response invites us home. If our answer is "I'm nowhere" his response invites us somewhere. If our answer is "I just don't know" his response is, "I do, now trust me!"

Looking onward and upward

He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the LORD has spoken.

Isaiah 25.8

We are seriously stupid if we don't make time to stop and remember what it is we are living toward! It was the promise of reward that motivated Moses to forsake the passing pleasures of sin, not some deep rooted selflessness. We can often think that we should never consider our own well being and should be motivated by selfless reasons, but that is not the way God motivates us. He has a complete overwhelming desire for joy and he has made us in that image. When God commands man he always complements his commands with countless blessings that will come about as a result. He doesn't say, "Do this because you are wretched and worthless and I am all powerful!". He could, but he doesn't. He doesn't have to give us reasons to follow him, but he always does and we need to embrace these reasons. We need to be overwhelmed with the desire for joy that is found only in the presence of God, and therefore overwhelmed with a desire for God. Everytime things look hard or we are tempted to taste of the lies of sin we must stop and remember where we are heading toward. Not that we forsake all others to please ourselves, but that we come to realise that the only way to truly please ourselves is to forsake ourselves, please God and please others. It is our desire for self that causes us to stop looking out for ourselves and start trusting God.

We can think that a good deed is made better if there is nothing to be gained by the doer.

I'm sorry, but that's just insane!

Surely the deed is made better when more people can share in the joy it brings about, including the one doing the deed. We simply need to know how it all fits together. We lose our life to gain it. We carry our cross to fly to freedom. We fix our eyes on Jesus because he fills our hearts with joy. That's the only way I can get through the next day with the hope of victory over sin. The next hour even.

I fight the false fading pleasures of sin with the true everlasting pleasures of God.

Replace death for life.

Daily choose to fly.

Joy?

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation."
With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.
And you will say in that day: "Give thanks to the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the peoples, proclaim that his name is exalted."

Isaiah 12.2-4

With God as our only means of being saved, we are eternally safe. We cannot lose our salvation because it rests in his well and his well is always stocked and ever overflowing. We can never do anything so bad that we are beyond his reach, his well runs deeper than the betrayal of any sin we could commit. It is therefore with eternal joy that we draw our water. It is with eternal joy that we confess our wretchedness, knowing that he will change us to be like his one perfect son. It is with joy that we trust him through all that life could throw at us, knowing that the most important thing is taken care of, our anchor is secure and our well will never run dry, therefore we are never afraid. A city with impenetrable walls and constant supply need never fear attack. They simply need to sit put, not do anything stupid and keep going and drawing every thing they need from their source. We must do the same. We must look to God as our only means of salvation and therefore our only means of security. We must not look to anything outside of him to fill any of our eternal needs, for they never could and would only bring pain flowing from rebellion. We have it all! How rarely we see it.

Wasted words of little truth

The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Psalm 34.10

We complain that we do not have but we do not seek. We go after God in a halfhearted manner, rarely giving him the whole of our heart and pursuing him with the sort of vigour we give to other stuff, and then turn round and blame God for making life hard and not providing us with any good things. We do not have because we do not seek. We are not to be like young lions, with a fierce appetite and no source of satisfaction, but to be those who know intimately the good gifts of a loving father. We are not to give God half a chance and then blame all our troubles on him, but to give him everything and gaze in wonder at the riches he freely pours on us. We cannot claim to be seeking God if we are not looking for him in his word and in prayer; it's like claiming to be playing hide and seek but our feet never leaving our counting point. Only wasted words of little truth. To seek God is to treasure him. To pursue him as if he truly is the beginning and the end, all that matters in this world and the next. To gladly give to him the best of all our time, knowing it is but a shadow of what he deserves. Our hearts show what we seek. Am I desperate for God? Am I longing for him? If I'm not and i want to, it is only his word and prayer that will change my heart. Everything else is just wasted words of little truth.

Fear the Lord

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!

Psalm 34.8,9

Fear of the Lord is here linked with seeing that he is good and taking refuge in him. It is not a fear that drives me to a corner to cower in uncertainty. It is a fear that values God as truly good and the only source of true security. It is a fear that causes a complete reliance upon him and results in having no lack at all. God always promises great rewards for a right attitude towards him, not least the provision of everything we could ever need. Why do so many Christians have such a distorted view of the Christian life? Why do so many Christians choose to focus on the trial and the struggle instead of upon the great reward? We should be so in love with our God and the natural result of being with him that everything else is of little or no consequence. We must allow him to hold sway over all our desires, if we are ever to be fully satisfied.

Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!

Fear of the Lord

'And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD.

He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear'

Isaiah 11.3

I think it's a phrase that noone fully understands, 'the fear of the Lord'. Yet, it's such an important phrase in understanding how we should relate to God. It is described as the beginning of wisdom and here in reference to Jesus it refers to a joyful way of life, but what is it? What is it that Jesus delighted in? I think that it is the word fear that is misleading. I think of fear like a fear of spiders or a fear of heights, but i don't think those really mirror this use. I think an animal's fear of fire might be closer to the truth. An experience of something so awesome, so powerful, so completely different to itself, that leads to complete respect. I think those are the qualities we need to see in God and that our response is one of awe and respect. I think a fear of the Lord involves always viewing God as fully as possible and responding accordingly. Not a fear of the punishment of sin (otherwise Jesus couldn't have delighted in it) but a fear that sees God and falls to its knees with mouth wide open. A fear that leads to a life of obedient submission and heartfelt worship. A fear that touches and controls all aspects of life. A fear that should be delighted in as the root of all wisdom and joy.

Just stopping and being

'Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:

"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit,

who leads you in the way you should go."'

Isaiah 48.17

Sometimes all we need to do is to stop and think about who God is. We can spend so long thinking about who we are, about what we should be doing, about how everything in our life fits together, about all the problems and difficulties we have, about where we want our future to go . . . and so little time just stopping and thinking about who God is. Just stopping and spending time gazing up at him. Just stopping and being with him. That's why we worry, why we panic, why we stress, why we become overwhelmed, why we lose hope. Put another way, that's why we sin. It is a small view of who God is that leads us to treat him in a way that is less than deserving. We need to spend time looking at him so that when problems come we see the solution. When difficulties arise we know the way through. When all hope is lost all hope is found.

What is it we see when we look at him? We see the one who bought us out of self inflicted slavery. The one who stands apart alone as worthy of all honour. The one who teaches us his way that we might walk in it and know true greatness. We see more than enough to get us through every hardship, every trial, every temptation. We see our God.

Whom do i fear?

'. . . you are not to fear what they fear or be in dread of it.

It is the Lord of hosts whom you should regard as holy,

and He shall be your fear,

and He shall be your dread.

Then He shall become a sanctuary . . .'

Isaiah 8.12-14

A fear of the Lord is a healthy thing; especially if it stems from an awareness of his great and terrible power, coupled with a knowledge of his hatred of sin. It's one thing to look at the world and be afraid of all that could harm the flesh, it's another entirely to glimpse our frailty in the hands of our creator. It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God, if you choose to cast aside a healthy fear of him. Through either underestimating the seriousness of sin or the power of God, we can live a life where a fear of God is never so much as entertained. It is not just a healthy thing, it is a necessity if we are ever to be brought to a place of safety. Regard him as holy, fear and dread what he could do to an undeserving sinner, and then he shall become a sanctuary. It is then that his hands close around us, not to crush, but to protect. Does the fear then disappear? No, it simply progresses to become a deep rooted love and appreciation. The fear is not gone, but changed somehow into something so much richer. I long to truly fear the Lord, that I might know his protection, and rest within the shadow of his wings.

Send me?

'He touched my mouth with it and said,

"Behold, this has touched your lips; and your iniquity is taken away

and your sin is forgiven."'

Isaiah 6.7

Isaiah was granted a vision of the Lord on the throne and his only response was to readily confess the sinfulness of himself and his people. Isaiah was fully aware that for the eyes of a sinner to look upon the king was to accept the penalty of death. He knew the perfection of God and His necessity to eradicate sin for his presence. He knew that as a fallen man he deserved to die, yet God intervened. He forgave his sin and removed all iniquity. Isaiah was not just altered, he was completely transformed. His whole being was made clean. God did not require Isaiah to do anything other than to freely accept his guilt. And once the guilt was removed, Isaiah was free to pursue true freedom found only in a life surrended to God. Isaiah willingly volunteered to take a message that would see the hardening of hearts and great destruction. The task would bring rejection, humiliation and persecution; yet it was all God asked and therefore it was a task heaped in blessing. To refuse would've been to accept that God had saved him but then to say that he was fine on his own from then on. To refuse would've been to take the offer to be free from prison, only to turn round and jump back in again. We are not made free to fall into sin once more. We are not free to forsake all others and please only self. We are free to fly to freedom. Free to choose the path that goes ever upwards, resulting in the sweetest freedom ever tasted. The task will bring rejection, humiliation and persecution. Can I really say it . . .

"Here am I, send me!"

Mastering sin

'Then the Lord said to Cain,

"Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?

If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up!

And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door,

and its desire is for you, but you must master it."'

Genesis 4.6,7

My anger towards God can never be justified. Never deserved. It is always a result of me not 'doing well', because if i genuinely do well in the sight of the Lord, the result is that my countenance will be lifted. I will not be angry but at peace. Not hopeless but hopeful. My outlook will not be one that only sees the negative, but one that is overawed by the positive. If I do well with God; if I repent, submit and follow, then my entire being will be satisfied.

However, if I do not do well, the consequence is clear. I can either choose to master sin, or it will surely master me. Mastering sin means that I never entertain it for a second. That the moment a thought creeps into my mind that can lead me astray, I take it captive and fix my eyes to my perfecter. It means that I never knowingly or willingly walk into a situation where temptation will surround me. It means that I take every possible measure to ensure that my friends are looking out for me and holding me accountable. Mastering sin requires the combined power of prayer and God's word to fight the lies I will want to believe and to constantly refresh me with a vision of my eternal hope. Mastering sin requires me giving my everything and trusting that with God all things are possible.

For sin to master me requires for me to simply do nothing.

That's all it takes.

It desires to have me, yet I desire to be free from it.

The power of God far outways the power of sin!

Slipping away

'My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back,

let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way

will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.'

James 5.19,20

It's a beautiful thing to stand on the edge, surveying the slippery slope down to destruction, knowing you are about to fall in and then feeling a hand on you shoulder, pulling you back to safety. How precious the thought that we don't walk this road alone and in our darkest moments help will always be sent. How precious to be the hand used to turn someone back. I know what it is to be turned from the error of my way and I thank God that he did not leave me to walk my own way. How then could we possibly stand by and watch as someone slowly slips away? What sort of monster would that make me? I have been saved, I have friends to constantly pull me back, I must do the same for others. It's that simple!

Honor or dishonor?

'Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.'

2 Timothy 2.20,21

The important thing is not what the vessel is made from, but what it is made for. There is no worth in a gold vessel made for dishonourable purposes. There is great worth in an earthenware vessel made for honor. The world turns it round and so do we. We place the importance on who we are, who we know, what we can do, who we can be. Even if we think we don't, we do. When surrounded by others, it becomes the most natural thing in the world to think of myself. How am I seen? What do others think of me? If I reason that the response is positive I feel good about myself and the situation. If the response is negative I reason it away as the fault of others. It should not even cross my mind what others think because it actually means nothing. Who I am in the eyes of others is not what matters. What matters is what I am used for. Am I used for honor or dishonor? For the good of others or the harm? It's one or the other. I either give or I take. What does it take to be used for honor? I've got to cleanse myself. God will not touch a dirty vessel. I must be clean to be of use, otherwise I am meant for dishonor alone. I have to chose to separate myself from the sin in my life, to step away and cling to God as the only one who can set me free and make me clean.

If I am not useful, I'm useless!

I long to be anything but!

'"Come now, and let us reason together,"
says the Lord,
"though your sins are as scarlet, they will be white as snow;
though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool."'
Isaiah 1.18

It struck me tonight how much I need this verse right now. A new beginning. Another chance to start again. Everything I've done, all the things I've tried to chase after, all the times I've made myself as God; all are taken away. My constant failings, weaknesses, struggles; all are made as nothing. The thought that I've tried so many times and failed so many times, need not be entertained for long, as all has been forgiven. Everything. I don't need to wake up in the morning with an expectancy of failure. I don't need to walk the way I've walked a thousand times before, because I am now a different person. I was stained and filthy and hopeless. Now I have been made whiter than snow. I am a child of God. I have within me the same power that raised Jesus from death. I have a future before me that was written before the world was uttered. A future bright with the promise of success and glory. I need this verse because I need constant washing and a constant reminder that I don't have to keep making the same mistakes over. I am free to fly to freedom. Free to live a life that pursues true freedom from sin, decay, addiction, destruction. If I stay where I am then I will only fall back into my pit. I must remember the hole from which I was dug, and run away from it, towards the freedom found with Christ. I am free to fly to freedom.

'At night my soul longs for You,

Indeed my spirit within me seeks You diligently.'

Isaiah 26.9

I'm struck by the way longing and diligence are one. So often when I think of longing I imagine a feeling of desperation, often expressed through short outbursts. When I think of diligence I think of committment and effort. The two stand at opposite ends of my mind and yet for Isaiah, the two went together perfectly. I guess if the longing is genuine, then the level of commitment is increased and so the 'longer' becomes more diligent in their search. The depth of my longing for God can therefore be shown by my diligence in seeking him. That shames me! It's easy to say I want God and to believe it's true, but only my actions will truly show the level of my committment. A committed, longing heart seeks diligently. Carefully, precisely, leaving nothing to chance, searching out every truth, acknowledging every detail. A heart that loves God desperately must seek him with a desperate diligence. That's when he is truly found!

What is man?

'Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils;

For why should he be esteemed?'

Isaiah 2.22

A question and a command. One is far easier than the other and so must be the best place to start. You kinda have to work up to a challenge and find reason enough to accept it. At least I do. If the challenge doesn't rest on a bed of motivation, it will always fall down. However, God is such that he never issues a challenge without giving us every reason in the world to accept it. We just have to open our eyes.

I've just changed my mind! I'm gonna do it in the order God's done it, cos i figure there's sense in that.

'Stop regarding man' is the challenge and what a challenge. It doesn't mean to stop thinking of others or take for yourself an excuse to be selfish. It means that when you do things, when I do things, little things, big things, anything; we don't do them for the praise of others. It also means that we don't do them for the sole purpose of pleasing others, we should look to please others but within the greater view of pleasing God. His pleasure is what leads us to please others. His pleasure is what controls us. So I have to stop regarding man, in order that I might regard God. It's so easy to see others and think they're great and get so caught up in trying to please them. I think the bigger challenge comes to me when 'man' is changed to 'woman'. Too often a pretty girl can be regarded as more important than God. I've gotta stop regarding man. That includes regarding myself!

The question gives me the reason to obey.

'Why should he be esteemed?'

What have I ever done that shows that I am able to live for myself?

What has anyone else done that shows that they are worthy of my high regard?

The answer must be nothing!

Even the riches of man are filthy rags before the Lord. And at the end of the day it is he who really matters. He who holds life in his hands. Man can do little for me at best. The feelings I get will always fade, often before I've even tasted them. I'm such a fool at times.

And yet . . . whiter than snow!

White as snow!

'"Come now, and let us reason together,"

says the Lord,

"though your sins are as scarlet, they will be white as snow;

though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool."'

Isiaih 1.18

I should never, ever forget where I've come from. I read a great book once, where a dad said these harsh words to his wayward son, "Remember the hole from which you were dug!". Sounds like a pretty horrible thing for a father to say when you first hear it, but the phrase has stuck with me for a few years now and i think it's because there is a lot of truth there. Spiritually, I was once in a dark and desperate pit, with no hope of escape except to be dug out. Something I could never do myself! I was saved by a loving father who gave everything for my freedom. I should never forget that!

It can be the easiest thing to take for granted though. After a while of living with God, we can begin to find more and more fault with others around us. I can think of plenty of people who I personally think: don't try hard enough, don't have the right attitude, waste too much time, get their priorities wrong.

I forget the hole from which I was dug!

I forget that my sins are as scarlet, red as crimson. Bright with the reality of the blood that was required. They were not a small patch of grey on an otherwise spotless sheet; they were like blood on snow! They are still like blood on snow! And yet God invites us to reason with him. We have nothing with which to reason, and he still ushers us in. Not to say 'I told you so' or hold hopeless punishment over us. He invites us to be made clean. To have our sins washed away.

I was once cycling (a strange occurance in itself) through York at about 3am when it began to snow. There was already a lot of snow on the ground, but the sky became a greyish white and a new covering fell from the sky. As I came to the Minster I just stopped. Everything was white! Completely white! There were no tracks, no footprints, no dirt, no litter, all was removed from sight. It was probably the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and yet I saw the Minster daily, thinking little of it.

It wasn't the building of man that made it beautiful, it was the perfect covering of God. When we come to him stained crimson with sin, he coveres us under a mountain of pure snow. I mustn't forget the hole from which I was dug, because I must never forget how much I need my God.

He makes us beautiful.

Ready to be presented to his glorious son.

All my heart?

'You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.'

Jeremiah 29.13

People frequently complain that God is nowhere to be found, far away, distant; and yet I wonder how often those same people actually look for God with all their heart. It's too easy to treat God like any other 'lost' item, we search all the obvious places that are right before our eyes; say a prayer or two, ask Him to show himself, maybe even have a very real desire in our heart to find Him, but never a desire so strong that it moves us to action. To seek with all our heart. I guess that's the real challenge.

How improtant is it to find God?

Is it so important to me that I put absolutely everything I have into finding Him? I guess we have to empty ourselves of all our other desires in order for God to come in and overwhelm us with Him. God will never be demoted to second place and so it's either all or nothing, I think that's what scares us! We like to be able to do a bit of this and a bit of that, always going wherever the moment or impulse leads. To commit your entire life and heart to one way can be frightening, unless the way is proven.

The promise can't be missed!

If I seek with all my heart, I will find.

Find God!

The excitement is only lost if the meaning of God is lost. If God means nothing then finding him means nothing. It is a worthless pursuit and could never be worthy of a whole heart. However, if it means complete safety, complete security, complete satisfaction, complete love, complete forgiveness, complete hope . . . completeness! Then isn't that worth everything and then some? To seek with the whole heart is to find with the whole heart. To find with the whole heart is to be completed, lacking no good thing.

I want that!

I want that with all my heart!

God's will

'For this is the will of God, your sanctification...'

1 Thessalonians 4.3

Sometimes you've just gotta love how simple the bible is! Yeh, maybe the language used can often take a bit of getting used to and require checking out, but in terms of looking for God's heart, It's plain for all to see (who choose to really look).

So, God's will is for our sanctification. That we be different, holy, clean, set apart. What does that mean? It means that when the world looks at us they should see something completely different to when they look at everyone else. It means that when Christians look at us they should see something they know to be Jesus and Jesus alone. It means that when we look at ourselves we see things happening that we know go far beyond all our best efforts. But most importantly of all, it means that when God looks at us He sees someone who is daily being changed into the likeness of the one He values most - Jesus. He sees one of His children!

And what does that really mean for us? It means that when I wake up in the morning I need to make the choice to be sanctified by God. That means I go to His Word with a real desire for it to change me completely. I frequently fall to my knees in prayer, knowing that if I ask God to change me and those He loves, he always, always will, provided I follow Him. When I spend time with those who also follow, I encourage them to do the same and to look to God as the only one who can bring change. When I spend time with those who don't believe, I excite in every opportunity to be different for God, even though it may bring laughter and separation. Not by looking at how others behave and just trying to be different. But by consuming myself with a desire to follow God and God alone, to the point where I am completely different without even realising it.

That's what it means to be sanctified. Changed by God, for God. And like everything else with God ... it is absolutely the best thing for me!

I'm lovin these lyrics!

'When i got tired of running from you, I stopped right there to catch my breath,

then your words they caught my ears, you said "I miss you son come home",

and my sins they watched me leave and in my heart I so believe,

the love you felt for me was mine, the love I'd wished for all this time,

and when the doors were closed, I heard no I told you so,

I said the words I knew you knew,

"O God, O God I needed you,

God all this time I needed you,

I needed you."'

Relient K - I So Hate Consequences

Me His, He Mine.

'They shall be My people, and I will be their God;'

Jeremiah 32.38

There are two parts to this amazing promise.

'They shall be My people'

an honour He freely gives to all who choose to trust in Him through His chosen means. Not those who come to Him in name alone, claiming to follow Him but really leading themselves. Not those who think that favour with God can be earned through trying to be good or in making the world a better place. God's people are those who accept that they have sinned against Him and deserve eternal punishment; those who turn away from their sin, learning to hate it for the way it separates them from God and all goodness; those who realise that Jesus died on the cross in their place, for their sin; those who know the power to live a new life as the same power that raised Jesus from the dead, those who daily choose to follow Him and submit to His will.

Put simply, those who follow God on His terms!

The question is, do I choose to identify myself as one of God's people?

Do I choose to leave behind all my selfish desires that will destroy me, to follow a way that leads to life itself?

And what is the result of making such a choice?

'and I will be their God'

By choosing to be God's people, we can be certain that He will be our God.

Our provider, our protector, our saviour, our comforter, our friend, our sacrifice, our joy, our hope, our future.

We get more from Him than we could ever imagine.

In every battle He will stand beside us. In every dark place He will shine light. Through every tear He will dry our eyes. Through every fear He will hold our hand. In every doubt He will bring certainty. When all else fails us He will stand firm. He will never leave us nor forsake us.

He will be our God!

My God!

Understanding God?!

". . . but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things," declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 9.24

Ok, so where do I even begin.

First, 'let him who boasts boast in this'. Everyone boasts, upon that I can rely. Anyone who does anything they believe to be fairly impressive, immediately seeks the praise of others. In fact, most people will happily boast in things that are far from impressive. Seeing as though everyone boasts (even Christians!), all are commanded to boast in this. Not in an arrogant and selfish way. Not to keep quiet and hide it away, but to take every opportunity to let everyone know just what it is I am so proud of.

Knowing and understanding God!

Second, the concept of understanding God. It's one thing to get to know Him, not an easy thing but certainly possible through his kindness in showing himself (first and foremost through His Word). Not a little thing either, which is a thought that continues to excite me even in my darkest hours, like staring up at the stars!. Understanding however, is a completely new level of depth. Understanding God I kinda took as being near impossible due to his infinite nature, and my considerable weakness and generally being a fool. Unlike the world, God doesn't tell me to boast in stuff that isn't true and so it must be possible to both know and understand God. Knowing and understanding someone is true friendship.

Now that really excites me.

Finally, what do I need to understand?
Simply put, three things about three things.
Confusing huh?!

That God is loving, just and perfect. Not that he sometimes feels this way, but that he always is all three. Everything I believe about Him must fit with these three characteristics.

That God exercises love, justice and perfection. Not just that he is these things, but that everything he does is because of these three. Everything I believe about what He does must fit with these three.

That God delights in love, justice and perfection. His very heart is made alive by love, justice and perfection. He doesn't act this way because He has to or feels like He should. He acts this way because He wants to with every fibre of His being.

With God there are no half measures.

He asks the same of me.

To know and undertand Him.

And then boast about it!

A Yellow Adventure

Yellow’s one of those funny colours. You get the clever colours like purple and brown, and the serious colours like red and black, and the colours that don’t really fit in like green, and then you get the funny colours, like yellow. It could never be described as a serious colour and certainly never clever. Sometimes it feels like it doesn’t fit, but who doesn’t? Anyway, it was one of those days when things just don’t sit right. Like when you wake up in the morning, have a wash, get dressed, eat your breakfast, clean your teeth and then you wake up, realising that it was all a dream and that you have to do it all over again. That’s the sort of feeling you can’t easily shake. It was one of those mornings and yellow had decided that actually, he wasn’t going to play ball. Instead of sticking to his own territory and doing his job to the best of his ability, he decided to take over black!

Now it’s a common misconception that black can easily overpower yellow; put them in a ring together and black will always come out on top. The actual truth is that, as colours go, you don’t get much harder than yellow! The key thing is that yellow is just a little too easy going and will let most colours get their own way, except for white of course, but no one likes white! Well, as it happened, on this particular strange morning, yellow had determined that it was time to make a move, and had done so on black of all colours. He hadn’t gone for an easy target like orange, maybe that would have solved a lot of the problems that were to follow. He’d gone for the king of the colour jungle so to speak! Now even all this wouldn’t have really made a lot of difference, if it weren’t for Zeke.

Here’s the way it is. Most colours actually change on a regular basis. Rarely will a day go by without blue and pink deciding to have another exchange, it makes life that little bit more interesting. The only colours that can’t change are white and black, because they are exact opposites and so must balance each other out. Without these boundaries the world of colour could evaporate from existence. Now you may be thinking, ‘Hang On! If colours are changing on a daily basis then why aren’t I noticing them?’ A good and fair question if ever there was one. The reason is the little part of your brain called the tri-balanced colorode. The tri-balanced colorode constantly updates the colour in your memory, using the images received through your eyes. This means that on a daily basis your memories are changing to fit the current place of colours, so you never notice that anything is out of place. This is where Zeke comes in. You see Zeke was born without a tri-balanced colorode. Just a tiny little hole where the tbc should be. Now on a normal day this just meant for a rather exciting morning. Walking to school is never dull when every single day it looks completely different. Imagine it just for a second. Stop reading and picture your journey to school with all the things that you probably miss because you’ve seen them so many times. Now imagine that the bin on the corner of your road is bright pink, and that the tarmac on the road is a soft green, and that the grass in people’s gardens is dark blue. It would be enough to make you giggle and smile all the way to school. Unfortunately for Zeke, most people thought him a little strange for laughing and giggling to himself on dull winter’s mornings when the wind was up and the sky grey. Now over time, Zeke had come to realise that black and white never actually moved around. He kinda just took it as a given that his school shirt would always be white and his trousers black. You can imagine the horror of a thirteen year-old boy, suddenly discovering half way to school that his trousers were bright yellow! Not a pleasant moment in the young man’s life. And you see this was where the problem really began to take shape. The human brain was never really meant to deal with the endless switching of colours and although Zeke had borne the situation well under the switching of the lower orders, he just wasn’t equipped to deal with the movement of a foundation colour.

Had you been sitting on the bus stop bench at the corner of Claremont and Newgate at half past eight on that Tuesday morning, an interesting sight would have met your eyes. First the strange smiley giggly boy comes along, almost skipping down the road. Then, as he reaches the point exactly opposite you, he looks down and a look of terrific despair envelops his face. And then . . . he disappears!

Zeke’s mind had done an unprecedented thing. The yellow over black had been the straw that broke the camel’s back, forcing his brain to try and make sense of the madness. Unfortunately for Zeke, his brain had taken him to the only place left for him to go; the centre of the sun!

The world in which we live is nothing more than a web of clever sounding myths. Man reaches as far as his knowledge will take him and then to save face he just makes stuff up. I mean, how can something just keep burning forever? It doesn’t work. If it did then why don’t we try and capture a bit of the sun and then our fuel problems would be solved. The reason the sun burns and burns is because it’s got no other way to release all the energy that’s bounding around inside its hollow shell. You see, the sun is the centre of the universe because it’s where all the stuff that makes life life, lives. The sun is the home of the abstracts. Our sight our smell our taste, all reside in the sun. Our emotions, our dreams, even our colours all live inside. I think in some strange way, Zeke’s mind was taking him to the only place where the problem could even attempt to be thought of being solved. Only Zeke didn’t know that. You wouldn’t know if you were inside the sun just like you wouldn’t know if you were inside an elephant. Unless of course you had entered through an opening and even scientists know that the sun doesn’t have any of those!

At first Zeke was a little overwhelmed. A bit like putting your head into a walnut, only the opposite and bigger. His senses were assaulted so much that they just shut down. For the first time in his life Zeke knew what it felt like to be a vacuum. It was as if he was sitting, watching himself not existing. Eventually, his senses returned with the power of a small rhinoceros sat behind the wheel of an armoured truck. That was when he came face to face with the culprit. Unbeknown to Yellow, who, unsatisfied after his assault on black, was making his way over to the realm of the white, he was about to meet the one entity that could challenge his plans of invasion. Their paths collided and yellow, reacting with the sort of speed you might expect from mauve, turned and faded into a tree. Oh yes, there are trees in the middle of the sun. It’s not like how you’d imagine the inside of your brain to be or even like sitting in a giant peach. It wasn’t even that bright! Anyway, Yellow was gone and Zeke was left alone in his now pink trousers. He took that to be a bad sign! He decided to climb the nearest windmill to see if he could spot any clue as to the escape route of the rogue. The windmill smelt like strawberries and cream and he enjoyed immensely his journey up the blades to the walkway by the roof. The railing was also a pretty shade of pink and Zeke couldn’t help wondering to himself if maybe it hadn’t once looked better in black. The view from the windmill was nothing short of spectacular. He felt a bit like he was inside a giant snow globe, with trees and flowers and rivers and flying turtles and mountains and giant umbrellas and cities of dew. Suddenly the reality of the situation hit Zeke (if you could call it reality!) and he slumped down against the side of the windmill roof. “What should I do?” he asked himself desperately.

“Absolutely nothing,” came the reply from over his shoulder.
Now Zeke had seen more than a few strange things in the past few minutes and so he decided not to bother looking round because he probably wouldn’t believe what he saw anyway. Instead, he thought for a second.
“Why should I do nothing, is it because I can’t really do anything anyway?”
“Now which question would you like me to answer first?” was the prompt response.
“The second one please,” even sat atop a windmill at the centre of the sun, Zeke really was a very polite young man.
“Well then, there are in fact a great many things that you could choose to do that might impact the outcome of this difficult situation.”
Zeke liked that answer, “oh, that’s good, why should I do nothing then?”
“The reason why you should do nothing is because you’ve done nothing so far and you’ve travelled a great deal closer to your destination as a result. Therefore, the sensible course of action would be to continue doing exactly what is working so very well . . . nothing!”
Zeke couldn’t help smiling as he realized the logic in his new friends suggestion.
“That sounds like very good advice, thank you Mr…what is your name by the way?”
“I have many names really, but I think the one that’ll interest you most is…yellow!” Zeke turned to see yellow flee with all the vigour of a caged bird set free. What a clever little fellow, Zeke thought to himself, still claiming the smile that even yellow’s trickery couldn’t steal. He was however now faced with a dilemma; should he stay or should he go?

Yellow had advised him to stay but obviously yellow didn’t want to be caught so staying would be exactly the advice you might expect him to give. However, yellow revealed himself and so would probably expect Zeke to ignore the advice he’d given so he might have given the best advice after all, knowing it would be ignored. Having thought it over for a short while, Zeke concluded that the very best course of action would be to do both. To stay and to go. To do absolutely everything and absolutely nothing. Using the sort of logic that only exists within a thirteen year old missing a tri-balanced colorode, Zeke decided that he had two options. He could either do absolutely everything whilst thinking of absolutely nothing, or do absolutely nothing whilst thinking about absolutely everything. Now Zeke had always found trying to think about nothing a bit like turning yourself inside out only to find that there’s nothing really to look at when you’re heads stuck in your bellybutton, so he chose the latter. He remained seated, crossed his legs and folded his arms (cos everyone knows that’s the position you have to be in if you’re going to do absolutely nothing). Then he allowed a train to pull into the station of his mind, hopped aboard and grabbed a window seat, letting the journey begin; and what a journey it was!

To describe it is like trying to tie your shoelaces with your hair, pretty pointless but amusing all the same, so here goes. First the train explored his sense of smell, by sucking his nostrils to the flat of the glass and then splattering various objects against it. All this was fairly pleasant until a whiff of fresh flowers caused him to sneeze and because the snot couldn’t escape through the glass it shot back into his head, causing it to escape through his hair follicles like plasticine shoved through a colander. This meant the end of the smells and the beginning of the sounds. If you’ve ever heard a duck trying to land on an iced over pond then you’re familiar with the sound furthest away from what Zeke was hearing! I think it sounded like cheese. After a quick sojourn in the lands of taste and touch, he finally reached his destination; the land of sight. Right before his eyes, everything began to change. No matter what colour the object began: be it the horse, the cart, the monkey; all Zeke could see began to fade to a lighter shade of yellow. Acting purely on instinct, he held out his hands and clapped them shut around the image. Opening his eyes again he looked down and saw yellow fighting to escape from his firm grip. Zeke’d caught him! All that remained was for yellow to be returned to his rightful place. Easier done than said!


The end?

A great graphic novel!

Anything but nothing

Sometimes all you want to do is feel nothing.

That is a lie.

Nothing is a state that no one truly desires; it seems appealing because the something is hard or painful or simply uncomfortable. At this point nothing might be like a lovely warm bath or a good night’s sleep on a soft pillow.

That is a lie.

Nothing is empty and emptiness is often the reason people are longing for nothing.
People want to feel something, just not anything.

So what do I want to feel?
What do you want to feel?

Warmth?

Love?

Excitement?

A gentle touch?

A soft laugh?

Like I’m doing well?

Free?

Full?

Anything but the shadow of the sun.

The place where light radiates in all directions except where I’m standing. Where heat touches all except me. Why do I desire so much and feel so little? It’s like I’m a hot air balloon with the capacity to fly but the air inside me is slowly drowning.

I’m tired of walking with ghosts.

I want to feel.


What do I do when I long to feel something?
What do you do?

Take a risk, a chance, a leap in the night with arms outstretched and mouth wide open? Or return to the place you’ve been a thousand times, left a thousand times, and still go back to because it’s safe.

That's a lie.

Fear drives us down so that we enclose around ourselves, suffocating the light, leaving only the cold dark. Leaving us always longing and never finding.

Why?

We never look in the right place. We never stray far enough from our own stained pit to grasp hold of the beauty that we long to drink deep of. We stay away from the light like a rat in a sewer, hurt embracing our bruised eyes.

Yet there is hope.

There is always hope for those who are brave enough to seek it. I know because I have it, I taste it, I daily, drink deep. I did not feel because I did not seek the source.

That’s not a lie.

So obvious and yet missed by most.
Missed by me … almost.

Batman

Who do I trust?

'Then all the remnant of Judah who have gone to the land of Egypt to reside there will know whose word will stand, Mine or theirs.'
Jeremiah 44.28

Sooner or later, we all have to make a choice. God's word or my word? God's way or my way? It's not that the two can peacefully coexist together because the two directly oppose each other. God's word is focussed on His Son and those who love Him. My word is focussed on myself. My word comes from a heart that is dark with selfishness and lies. God's word comes from a heart that is light with love and truth. My word is regularly proven to be false, regularly shown to be foolish and regularly lets people down, including myself. God's word is always proven to be true, always shown to be wise and always works for the good of those who love Him. It is a word that is so completely different to what we are used to, that it often becomes difficult to understand and easy to confuse. That is not His failing, but ours.

The choice still has to be made, eternity past has proven that his word will always stand, I only have to look back over today to see that mine will frequently fail (and I've only been up for an hour). I know that his word will bring life, his word will bring fulness of joy (which when you get past the language is surely what everyone really wants!) and will never let me down. So why do I fail to trust it? Fail to study it?

Like everything in life, I want to feel good and I want it quickly. God's word requires time and effort, but the result makes everything else look pathetic. The greatest human emotions provided by living for self, could never compare to the riches found in following God and standing on His word. Today, I make that choice. His word or mine?

I choose His!

Why are you doing great harm to yourselves?

'...thus says the Lord God of hosts, the God of Israel, "Why are you doing great harm to yourselves..."'
Jeremiah 44.7

We get stuff so messed up, so often. We think that by choosing what to do with our lives and by following our own path, we will be free and find everything that we need in our own strength. Happiness, security, excitement, fulfillment. Only, how can we find all these things when we are turning away from the source. It's like searching for water in the desert and fleeing the rain when it comes. It's not that by turning away from God we are causing some great personal injury to his pride. More that we are separating ourselves from the only place where we can find eternal happiness, causing him to ask, "Why are you doing great harm to yourselves?" And the answer is never quite sufficient. Pride? Ignorance? Laziness? We want a quick pay off and God's way often requires patience.

For how long will we continue to place ourselves on the path of great harm. We must choose daily to follow Christ anew, in the complete confidence that he is the source of everything we need, and more . . .